Why We Signal
This post is an excerpt from an earlier edition of Mark’s Brainwaves. To stay up to date on new ideas, subscribe here.
Many of our most popular online spaces are full of signaling behavior.
On Instagram, people signal status: international travels, music festivals, exclusive events. It's well known that people showcase the best parts of their lives. Look what I can afford.
On Twitter and Facebook, people signal values: callouts of public figures, political rants, and quips on current events. Often called "virtue signaling", people share opinions not necessarily to inspire action but to signal what ideologies they align with. Look at what I care about.
Of course, it's not as black and white as this. Different types of signaling can occur on different social platforms, and not all behavior is (solely) motivated by signaling.
In the past decade, though, online spaces have become particularly artificial, our behaviors increasingly shallow.
Thankfully, we're beginning to see a bit of a pendulum swing, both in public discourse and in digital infrastructure.
Before we explore this, though, let's step back for a second.
What is Signaling?
Signaling is a concept that doesn't belong solely to online. In fact, it's a fundamental biological principle that isn't even unique to humans.
If you go to the Wikipedia page for signaling, for example, the first example is between two different species:
Signaling, in my interpretation, is how information is transmitted when communication is restricted. Sometimes this is intrinsic to the situation (the springbok can't have much of a conversation with the cheetah), but often the communication is artificially restricted by the space.
Let’s explore how this works within a physical and a digital space.
Physical: Bars
Not a sports bar or a pub, but the type that people my age frequent when they "go out". There's minimal space, lighting, and ability to converse (thanks to loud music). With limited opportunity to actually communicate, people signal.
As someone who loves verbal communication, these situations always feel a bit uncomfortable and artificial. Language is replaced by gestures, clothing, and physical contact.
The social scientist in me, though, is fascinated by how this environment incentivizes peacocking:
At least dogs get straight to the point when meeting each other in enclosed spaces.
I don’t mean to hate too much on bars; they play an important role in the social fabric of young adulthood. They just happen to be a striking example of how different spaces influence the way we communicate.
Digital: Dating Apps
Signaling is one of the main reasons I’m fascinated by dating apps.
For less complex species, mating is a pretty direct process: there are competitions, mating calls, and other rituals.
Humans, of course, have developed much less direct processes. Even middle schoolers are signaling partnership interest through complicated social networks –asking a friend to ask a friend to ask another person if they’d be interested.
Dating apps strip all of this away. Pairing off has never been this direct.
Dating apps ask you to boil down your “mate value” into a simple profile. There may be subsequent conversations and meetings, but your initial judgement of someone here is inherently static. And thus, the decision of what to put on a dating profile is challenging.
With limited pictures and text, it’s difficult to communicate what you desire and why you’re desirable. Outside of maybe resumes –which are a completely different domain– people rarely have to articulate these things so directly. It’s quite unnatural for us, which makes the signaling problem so intriguing. It’s a miniscule, curated cross-section of ourselves that we’re sharing, but we’re extremely sensitive to others’ perception of that sliver.
While there is no standard approach for filling out a dating profile, certain signaling behaviors are popular. There are a disproportionate number of pictures with dogs, quotes from popular TV shows, and Harry Potter references. My favorite is sharing Uber ratings, which took me a while to figure out:
I had the thought, of course, in an Uber. Higher ratings = being respectful to the drivers.
The most famous dating app cliche, though, might be tacos. I recommend reading Vox’s piece, “Why is everyone on Tinder so obsessed with tacos?” Here’s a short excerpt:
In short, people may cling to tacos for a reason that’s perhaps even more relatable than actually loving tacos: because they’re scared of rejection. Says Jackson Weimer, a student at the University of Delaware, “People on Tinder and Bumble or whatever like to think that they are really unique and quirky, but at the same time, they don’t want to appear too weird. A love of tacos to a lot of people on these apps fits in that niche of a little different but nothing too out-there. They’re hoping to attract someone ‘normal’ like they see themselves. I feel people are scared to put in their bios aspects of who they really, truly are.”
What’s Wrong With Signaling
I wrote above that signaling is the result of restricted communication. This is sometimes innate to a situation, but often is the intentional consequence of design choices.
There are numerous ways communication can be restricted. The most recognizable form of signaling may be the party game Charades (or Pictionary). In this case, someone tries to communicate a word or phrase without using our shared verbal language. (You may be familiar with Taboo or Heads Up, which only partially restrict language in a game of communication.)
Why is the game fun? Because it’s hard. What would normally take one word may take minutes to communicate. What a cute concept! Constraints are famously a boon for creativity, and here it’s all in good fun. When the game gets repetitive or draining, we can stop, and go back to our regular lives.
Signal Overload
Our modern world, though, requires us to signal frequently. Phone calls are out; emojis are in. Emails to bosses and texts to dates need proofing to ensure proper tone. Pictures need angles, filters, and captions.
Like in charades, the signaling choices online can be fun. Memes, for example, allow people both to communicate efficiently and creatively, and they allow for unique input. Instead of writing out full idea, individuals can uniquely repurpose the vehicles of shared understanding – and enjoy it.
At its core, though, signaling is unsustainable. Online, we often end up molding our message to the medium, reducing our complex beliefs into templated formats. It’s exhausting to maintain an online presence. Nobody comes away recharged from a scroll session on Instagram.
There Are No More Safe Spaces
The greatest danger of signaling behavior is that it has invaded our offline world and attacked the concept of living without broadcasting.
The ability to connect to these digital spaces at any time, say, through Instagram or Snapchat stories, also takes us out of our spaces that were otherwise designed for being. The current moment belongs to more than those existing in it.
Many of these people are less concerned with watching the footage than watching who else will watch it.
I don’t like to shame people, but it really bothers me when those around me are using their phones for signaling. (My love language is quality time, of course.) It’s always felt like a glitch in the matrix when people pause to take a photo or video. I understand taking photos for the sake of remembering experiences, but the ability to share with anyone and everyone has driven us to document in a way that disappears into the ether. (Also, isn’t saving photos just a form of signaling to your future self…?)
If we’re losing the ability to live without signaling in the offline world, can we build spaces in the digital world that eschew it? Stay tuned...